分辨能力

告诉我，要怎样才能装若无其事? 要怎样才能狠下心，像你一样，一切都好像事不关己，都那么理所当然？

要我看着你自甘堕落，却没资格出声。。我该如何相信，一个月后，一切就可以好起来？

我没办法分辨，要从此当着不认识你，或眼看着你一直这样，哪个比较痛苦。。

刚才你那个样子，我真的觉得很厌恶。。可是，总是安慰自己，你会好起来的。。

但是，这个月要怎麽挨？才两天。。我好像被逼着要长大，要无人能敌的坚强。。

我分辨不出，要鼓起勇气离开你，或是相信你而继续熬下去，哪个比较痛苦。。

不管哪个都好，我好像都在自欺欺人。。

你一直在提醒我，我们什么都不是，可是你又忽冷忽热。。

那种很痛苦但又不能去问你心里在想什么的感觉，我还形容得出来。。又怎样？

我不知道，我几时开始，这么不理智。。只知道，痛的感觉总是来得比开心实在。。

所以就奋不顾身，豁出去地疯狂。。

我分辨不出来，要习惯一个人生活，还是拼命告诉自己，你不知道你在伤害我，哪个来得比较痛不欲生。。

我开始累了。。连诉苦都懒得。。没有人的职责是听我司空见惯的爱情伤心事。。

所以，就觉得越来越孤独。。还好我早就习惯了强颜欢笑。。

笑着笑着，就是真的了。。

希望痛着痛着，也能忘了。。那就好了。。

我再也分辨不出，要想象没有你的未来，还是要面对你一个月的冷酷，哪个会痛得比较刻苦铭心？

我决定就一直痛下去，直到我有勇气离开。。

再也分辨不出，是抱着希望我在你心目中会再次重要，比较不可能，还是要我忘记你，比较不可能。。

要认命吗，永远遇人不淑的女孩？

你睡过头了。。。。

100 Truths about Myself

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.


WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Plain water
2. Last phone call: Him
3. Last text message: Him
4. Last song you listened to: 兰亭序

5. Last time you cried: Last week after a phone call.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: Yes
7. Been cheated on: Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No
9. Lost someone special: Yes
10. Been depressed: Yes
11. Been drunk and threw up: Not drunk but threw up.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Brown
13. Grey
14. Soil Green

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: Yes
17. Laughed until you cried: Yes
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: No
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Lazy to count
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2
24. Do you have any pets: No
25. Do you want to change your name: Yes
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Sushi & movie with Ruban, simple birthday celebration with housemates, supper with Dek3 & Ooi Noo Yin, karaoke with Corner Lot gang.
27. What time did you wake up today: 9:05 am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Went to someone's birthday party, drank & gamed, then drink at mamak.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Find a nice job with good pay & get rich.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: During CNY
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Money
32. What are you listening to right now: Fan spinning, people talking in drama.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: I don't know. Sensitive mode now.
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook
36. What's your real name: Lynda Leong Choi Foong
37. Nicknames: Lynda, Dalyn, Miao, JueJue, Nynda Neong, Everyday.
38. Relationship Status: IAR
39. Zodiac sign: Pisces
40. Male or female?: Female
41. Elementary?: SJK (C) Chung Hua
42. Middle School?: SMK Bintulu
43. High school/college?: UTAR
44. Hair colour: brownish red
45. Long or short: Shoulder length
46. Height: 156cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: No
48: What do you like about yourself?: Don't feel like telling
49. Piercings: 5
50. Tattoos: I wish
51. Righty or lefty: Lefty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: None
53. First piercing: When I was 15.
54. First best friend: P'ng Kah Khoon
55. First sport you joined: Badminton
56. First vacation: 6 years old. To Ipoh.
58. First pair of trainers: Don't remember.

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: No
60. Drinking: No
61. I'm about to: sleep
62. Listening to: Songs
63. Waiting on: my salary to be deposited
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Yes
65. Get Married?: Yes
66. Career?: Translator, missionary work, PR, Sales, Education.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Lips
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Taller
70. Older or Younger: Younger
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Stomach
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: No
77. Drank hard liquor: Yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Yes
79. Sex on first date: No
80. Broken someone's heart: Hell yea!
82. Been arrested: No
83. Turned someone down: Yes!
84. Cried when someone died: Of course!
85. Fallen for a friend?: Minor crush

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: Yes
87. Miracles: Yes
88. Love at first sight: Yes
89. Heaven: Yes
90. Santa Claus: No
91. Kiss on the first date: Yes
92. Angels: Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No
95. Did you sing today?: Yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: As in in a relationship? No, besides that, Yes.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: Far enough to see dinosaurs, to see Pharaoh, to see Adam & Eve, to see the emperors of China, to see Old England & America.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: Christmas
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: NO
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: Arrr, bugger..