October Best!

It's been 10 months plus since I last logged in to my blog. Did some minor revamping to my blog, if you notice. Scrolled down to check if any of my blogger friends have recent updates, sadly almost everyone has not been writing anything. I guess all are busy or just lost it after sinking into this big society, including myself.

What I envy at certain degree is how my sis blogs. I don't think I can ever write like her again. So little worries, such purity, such simple life - which I miss.

Well, I think my life is not that bad too! Just that everyday is routine to me, & I anticipate it will get even more routine in about 3 to 4 months' time.

Yes, we have a baby coming our way! I am entering my 29th week in another 2 days. Things have been wonderful so far. I don't know what to expect as of course both of us are inexperienced.

Apologies for not announcing on social medias as this is just not our thing. EDD is early Jan 2015. There!

It's someone's birthday again this month. We have booked a flight to Krabi for celebration way before I got to know I had a bun in the oven, so now just a bit worried that I'll be not be able to fly. Anyway, if I'm not allowed on the plane, so be it; but guess what Mister R, you're staying too!

Points

Days since last post: 74.
Let me see what I've done in this 2.4 months.
Really can't recall much. Maybe I need to rely on Facebook to trace back my trails of life?
The sky is purple now, gorgeously purple. I presume storm will come later tonight.
Okay, 2.4 months.
Obtained an obsession on a particular dessert.
Shot with a life gun. 25 bullets.
Watched Harry Potter, 7 am Arivu, can't remember the rest.
Lost some old time habits which I'm still having a hard time picking them back up - blogging, articles browsing, reading, bla bla bla.
Did farewell for Mano who went to London to study to be a LAWYER & almost swore he'll never come back if MY politics don't turn better. *eyes rolling* 
At the same time, got closer to Kuga & got to know boyfriend's childhood neighbour who worked in Salmat after I left. Small world! (Though as usual he doesn't remember
Putting in effort to go out with friends more often.
Trying to keep in mind to start Christmas shopping.
Has reassured myself how much I hate office politics & gossips. I just want a peaceful work life. I still have hopes that it's possible, hence I'll keep searching. I know it's not possible to totally cut out, but at least to the least. 
Work pressure doesn't frustrate me, but politics does!
Beginning to like my non-political colleagues.


Maybe my heart & mind will never be set for this type of world. I keep wondering how I will ever get used to all these craps? The reason why I'm so frustrated is there are so many greater concerns in this world, and you fickle-minded people are paying so much attention to these useful shits. Again, you show how worthless & pathetic you are. Not saying you must contribute something to earth or society, but I still believe karma is a bitch when you prove & show to be a despicable person whom no one wishes to respect. Everytime I look at you guys at 1730, I always wonder, by the end of the day, what do you get? By the end of this life, what do you earn?


As for me, at least I've made someone smiled today. I shared joy, I shared knowledge. It's none of my business, but I can't help feeling sorry for you guys.


Ah well, back to updates.


Found a job. Hopefully a rewarding one. Another turning point of my life.
Not sure where it'll lead me. But like everyone says, I still have time to figure out. Young at heart is all you need to be. :)
Well, if my current job proves to be more rewarding & I feel more appreciated from my superior, I would really consider to stay. But I guess, looking at the situation now & I don't think I can make things good again, I see no reason why I shouldn't leave. Boat is sinking & I've heard enough. Even if I didn't, I know this job will take me nowhere as no one is promising you any career prospect anytime soon, because I know what I see & it's not looking good at all. Don't tell me after 15 or 20 years, I can be who, who & who. You know that's not good enough. It's like telling me I'll be stagnant for 15 years. You can tell this to a 40 year-old lady, not to a 20 year-old. Unless I'm someone with no ambitions.


The reason why I can still be tough here is because I don't get influenced by anyone. I mean, influenced to be biased, gang up or turn to be like them.
I hate the persons I hate, I like the persons I like. No one can twist around & tell me otherwise.
I'm still quite bothered by how all of us just stop contacting each other after graduation.
I put effort & it's starting to feel so pointless as no one else is.
I miss so many of you. But I have a feeling you guys just don't give a damn.


Parents are going to be in town next week. Can't wait! Time to go. Till the next post.

Ketchup!

As usual, like I always do, after long gone.

Still stuck with my sucky job.

I still want to say, I hate corporate.

Some people are ignorant; some are rude, taking you for granted, some do not put header & greetings at the beginning & end of an email.

Some are fun to talk to, but you will not have time to do so.

Every end of the day, I just keep reminding myself that they are pathetic & they hold no space in my personal life.

When I refused to use polystyrene plate & plastic utensils, someone started calling me lame & said that I have nothing better to do. When I tried to defend myself, she just blocked me out & kept shaking her head, like she's right! What the fuck, bitch? Get out of the comfort zone, look around the world. I know you couldn't care less that the world is now full of pollution & you are hell sure that you will not make a difference. Typical selfish Chinese. Don't judge me, I'm Chinese too, doesn't mean I think my race is great! (In case some random visitors wish to comment on my statement again.)

I don't want to criticise about how you live your life. At the end of the day, I would just like to advise you to back off & mind your own business, loser.

Other than my a-piece-of-crap job, I'm perfectly happy with my life.

Bought a new phone. (Not Iphone, I'm anti)

Watched a number of movies.

Caught up with some friends who claimed they miss me.

About to delete some who couldn't care less from my life as I am still wondering why they were once considered best pals to me.

Talked about the future.
Thought about many possibilities.

Picked some tiles.

Bought some books.

Ate some fattening food.
Broke some self records.

Travelled by ERL early morning for breakfast & enjoyed it, you just don't know how good it feels to be up so early & you're in the train checking out views & listening to radio or music that you appreciate.

Made new friends.

Cracked some jokes.

Got to know some people better.

Set up more clear rules for self.

Ate some ice-creams.

Learned more about office politics.

Got to know how rich the government is.

Done less shopping.

Saved more money.

Upgraded internet speed.

Talked less.

Cursed less, though I miss. Not that I'm getting rid, it's because I have no one to do so with.
Dennise, when to go out??

Lastly, trying to improve my time management.

P.S.: Si mut cui, when will you come again?? I'm dying to go to karaoke with you! I need it!

Bollocks

Realised my mind is getting lazy.

No time for inspiration. Just feeling so switched off.

Trying to come up with something nice to write about & type it in Chinese.

But only managed to squeeze out some statements. Scattered here & there.
No unity.

I am officially free. Free from work, I mean. Not single free.

Some good time off for myself. Get myself rearranged & neat up.

Settle some unfinished errands. Do what I've left undone for more than 2 years.

And do some New Year shopping. Hehe~

Went to KLCC with the boyfriend yesterday.

It's the first time we went on a date by public transport.

4 years & this is the first time. It felt nice.

It's always good to do something new, to experience more as a couple, no matter how tiny the event could be.

The fellow was leaning his head on my shoulder. Never thought he would do that.

Like a little boy, so cute & sweet. Don't scold me for typing it out here, please.

Shall read books more now, since I have the time of the world.

How weird that you can stay friends with people you've worked with for only 3 months.

But those college friends. Poof! Gone. No posts on FB, no catch up calls. I miss you guys, kay! Know you're busy & in different states.

Called Peha the other day. She's still rotting at home, being a babysitter & house-maker. 

I missed those days.

Miss going to karaoke with you guys, miss crapping & bitching with Corner Lot. Miss laughing our asses off all the time. Miss being the one cracking mean & hilarious jokes. Miss being called mean & evil. Miss being youthful.

I miss my kids. This sounds lame but you have to admire God's creation.

Everytime I looked at them, I just don't know how God can create such beautiful kids.

Such innocence, purity and naiveness.

They could make my heart melt. So therefore, I'm being called paedophile. :p

Every movement they make, every word they say. Seriously, I really don't know how to be strict with them. They're just kids. They don't know what they're doing.

Everytime I think that way, I can't get myself to be firm & say No.

I can chat away & be friends with them. I can never be their teacher.

I can share knowledge but I'll always be complacent.

Therefore, I became unsuitable.

Until some 4 year old has a crush on me & started drawing heart shape on a piece of paper for me. Lucas, I miss you!!!!

He's going to grow up handsome, alright. Someone, don't get jealous again when you see this.

The cousin x2 bought a sewing machine. A mini one.

I think it's temporary hobby, though she does like all those knitting, sewing stuffs.

Ha, but it looks fun. So, we discussed together what she could sew.

Coaster, bookmarks, tissue holder, bla bla bla.

Made me a tissue holder which I love so much.

It's double sided. 1 design on one side. So when you get bored of one, you can turn out the other side.

The pictures.

Going to sew a wooden button on the polka dot side.

Got really hooked with Meiji green tea ice-cream & carrot milk juice.

And American series, "Lie to Me". Fancy Tim Roth. He's perfect for this role because he's a Brit.

He gets into the character very well like he's a natural. Like he's really the one who discovered the theory. 

It's based on a real study by Dr Paul Ekman who had been studying on interpreting micro-expressions and body language through Facial Action Coding System which he developed.

Well, of course you won't become an expert of reading faces after watching this but you will get some grasps of the knowledge.

It's really fascinating how human beings express themselves and how you could see things coming if you are very good at reading muscle movements on one's face to identify types of emotions one is showing. This way, no one will be jailed or punished for something he has not done. Nor can one get away for a crime or mistake he has done.

& you can avoid a punch in your face.

& you can tell when someone is lying. I like this best.

Ekman concluded that a few human expressions are universal after he's done a cross-cultural research on Fore tribesman of Papua New Guinea. They were able to associate & identify some expressions to specific emotions. The basic emotions he recognised in 1972 are Fear, Anger, Disgust, Happiness, Sadness and Surprise. And in 1990s, Amusement, Contempt, Contentment, Embarrassment, Excitement, Guilt, Pride in Achievement, Relief, Satisfaction, Sensory pleasure and Shame.

Some expressions are similar, for example, Fear & Sadness. Human will show their true feelings in the first 3 seconds when some news are breaking. After that, it's all fake.

It's up to season 3 now.

I'm still addicted to Gossip Girl as well.

This post, again, as usual, took me more than 2 hours to finish.

Because I'm multitasking all the time. Understatement.

And I've sewn the button on.

Sigh, how will I ever get over it?

He thinks it's better that I never know. I'm pretty sure about it too.

But how to not bother?

Truth or happiness. Never both. - Cal Lightman

A Getaway

A late post.


Went to Cameron with the boyfriend & the family last week.
Spent one night chatting with his mother while he was sleeping beside.
And he heard some parts of our conversation while pretending to sleep.
Were actually talking about him.
Confronted me the next day & is still bothered by it.
Honey, don't feel shy. Get over it, kay? =p
Love the cold weather, love getting to relax.
Love waking up & getting to see him straight away.
Not sleeping beside me, of course.
He was in the other room with his brother.
Me with his sister.
Only hated when I had motion sickness.
My deepest gratitude for your thoughtfulness. *kiss*
Heartfelt when I saw you kept checking out how I was doing.


Hard to get along with the colleagues, but not trying hard.
Don't think it's really necessary, don't feel like wanting to please them on purpose too.
I won't buy you donuts or a Starbucks coffee, so that you will scream in joy & say "Awww, so sweet!!!" I'll be nice when I feel like, when I think you're worth it.


Sorry, peeps, have not been updating even though I promised so.
Hmm, so lazy to think about what to write.


Erm, just a shout out. I have to admit, sometimes I would do on purpose that I won't respond to those people, I think, who only come to me when they need my help.
When I'm so tired and so I won't have the mood, I seldom bother to reply. Either you ask me directly, "Hey, I need a favor from you. Can you......?" 
I would feel MUCH better that way, honestly. 
In other words, don't beat around the bush & try to start things off with so called courtesy & good manners or whatever. I don't buy that.
And secondly, I don't feel proud if you would choose to come to me when you need help. I feel proud when you would come chat with me just because you simply want to do so. That will make it more likely for me to help when you're asking for a favor.


Time for bed again.Till then.

Retrieving...

I'm back.....after so many months...ever since the last sem break, I got demotivated again...
Let me do some update...last year christmas was fun & trembling my heart as usual...
Seeing my sister dancing & singing choir on stage made me felt...she's a big girl now..
Doing what I've been doing for God when I hadn't come here to study...she was so pretty & cute that night...
I felt sweet & relieved...just feel great to be home...& love you a lot, sis...
after X'mas, of course it's the annual year end thanksgiving dinner in church...
Always looking forward to this, *ahem* not because of the food...I had to do the slides last night...
Key in all the procedures...those adults were so irresponsible...the slide projecting was a mess...I was immensely angry at the moment, no thanks to my brother's splendid annoyance beside me...saying I wasn't good & all...
but then, my mood switched back...there was game session, I like sharing session the most...
Mum & dad went up, giving thanks for everything God blessed us with that year...
& they stayed in church for the new year countdown...it's their 1st time...^^
Then it's time to come back to study...but after 2 weeks, I was heading home again...for CNY!!!!
CNY this year was not as lively & spirited...there was news of deaths everywhere.
Cancer is at the top of the fatal disease list for me...
Then it's time to leave my endeared shed again...
This time, I didn't cry & I didn't vomit in plane too!!! *applause*
But my skin allergy is back...after 4 years, estimatedly...
Even though homesickness was not encountered, I still found myself feeling one kind...
But I guess it's all because of the undone business, all the notes messed up here & there, all the assignments & presentations piled up in my head, all the due dates in my diary...
But I'm composing up slowly...
Many things are changing around me, some I'm trying to ignore, even though pain is solidly felt...
But new things I'm intending to make my life more meaningful, are now on schedule..& I'm speeding up..
Alright~I'm done...

*photos will be uploaded later on.

Happy New Year, everyone~

Live life, love life~

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I shall come in a while & fill you up, my dear blog.
Now I'm just too busy.
Wait for me. Til we meet again.