Belated X'mas Greetings

Merry X'mas, Everyone!!!

This year, it's celebrated one day earlier in my church. All ballrooms were booked on the 25th.

But it was still as fun as any other year. My x'mas wish is to get to celebrate x'mas in my church every year.

^^ Besides CNY, this is my favourite celebration. Haha~My cute little sister was in the choir & youth dance group. So cute~lazy to post photos now...later la~

Just love x'mas!!! For those who forgot the reason why we are here, this is the day to refresh thy mind & rethink what had happened 2008 years ago. Well, normally humans feel more on special occasions. Although it has been argued the 25th is not the exact date, it's not the date that counts, it's the thought behind. Merry X'mas to everyone, & happy birthday to the father high above. ^^

Analysis of My Name

You Are Peaceful and Content

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.

Well, it does sound like me...I won't say all of them, but...acceptable.

Hmm, too common & general though. I don't believe many things can be told by just a name.

I know many people with my name. Don't think I feel like them. But the title? Peaceful & content? Don't say a word, anyone.

So here's the link. Your name's Meaning?

Home Sweet Home

Just feel normal & nice to be at home...everything feels better, the water is cleaner, eggs taste better, weather is cooler, lcd is bigger, laughter is louder, sleep is longer...

Still enjoying the mode of not doing anything, besides those of laziness.

Even counting how many mosquito bites I get everyday...not a pleasure...

Don't know whether my mum's liquid enzyme is the cause. But I'm sure the ants invading are one of the consequences.

Despite of being at the bottom/beginning of the food chain, mosquitoes are not good to humans.

That's what I thought before I read this...

What are the benefits of mosquitoes?

Benefits are in the eye of the beholder. Everything in nature occupies an important place. From most public stand points mosquitoes don't have much use. However, mosquitoes pollinate flowers, and provide an important food source for a wide range of creatures such as fish, turtles, frogs, birds, and bats. It is also important to remember that pesticides kill almost all insects and many other organisms they contact. This includes butterflies, mites, ladybugs, and other insects that pollinate flowers, remove detritus from the ecosystem, digest feces, and all the other important functions we depend upon insects to perform in the environment.

Never knew mosquitoes do pollination. Not a big fan of bugs. So, never paid attention about them much.

At least I am now. But still, I don't like them even though spiders, fish etc feed on them, & if there are less mosquitoes, then there'll be less spiders. If there are less spiders, then those other insects that they feed on will be more. Then we'll hate them instead. This is so.....

Enough with this. As long as I don't get malaria or dengue. No point hating them anyways.

Just started reading A Tale of Two Cities 2 days ago...hope I can finish it.

Not persistent.

By the time I finish this post, I've already used up to 5 hours, as I was walking here & there, bugging my brother while he's watching heroes now. I've watched. So I'm being the answerer to his questions & also the spoiler.

Speaking of, *saying cooly* I want ep 14. (Those who haven't watched ep 13, don't read this!) Ando has his own power finally, as foreseen. Wow~he's the power charger. Matt could hear the thoughts of the whole city after he touched him. Daphne could walk through time & space by holding him. So they went back to save Hiro. Still grieving for Hiro's loss of power. He's still so adorable anyway. & Elle's death. Glad that Arthur is dead. Can't bear with Nathan's idiocy. & Tracy Strauss. & Mohinder, loser. The beginning of Volume 4, Fugitives!

& why is Mr. African Isaac alive again? Mohinder's snake-shelled body is healed by only having the potion poured all over him.

Angela, still not dead yet. Apparently, she knows who Gabriel's real parents are, therefore preventing her from being killed by Gabriel. & I thought the snow globe collector IS the biomum. Eager to know who they are. Liking him after he has been switching from bad to good, then to evil again. But he killed Elle. Wonder whether he loved her at all.

Okay, it's been a pleasure. Be right back. Like they say, love nature for what it is. Love everything. Hard.

Home, at last...

I'm in different place now from this morning...

I almost missed my flight...this is one experience...

Embarrassed but I nearly cried in the airport...eyes were teary...

Hmm...skip the part why this happened in the first place...ehem, it's not the time to put the blame...

I'm happy in a way, I had a new adventure today...experienced that my name was announced...

& running to the departure gate & being the last one to get on the plane...

& I wonder when I will recover from travel sickness...not delighted having to rely on medication...

My cousin sister told me I'd get better as I grew up...it's not true!!!

& I'm really tired...I slept right after lunch & woke up only for dinner..

But now, I must write down  this day...the feeling knowing that maybe I wouldn't be able to come home was killing.

I couldn't believe when I got in the plane, thought whether it's possible I was in the wrong flight.

By the way, I'm still not well composed now...like something is not right...just have been feeling weird since last night....

Another news that can make me feel worse, I have to lead singing session in prayer meeting on tuesday.

The news that I was coming back spreaded quite fast, I must say...

It's not that I don't want to lead...but I just feel scared & shy...besides, I haven't done this in a long time.

I'm not a good piece of leadership...I never liked it when I have to lead...

I prefer when I don't have to talk, I can be the pianist, be assistant, usher, where I won't be having so many people listening & looking at me...

Besides, so many years I was not with them, & I wasn't almost never arranged to serve, it'll feel awkward.

But I'm making good use of my EQ now, I'm sure I'll be okay.

I'm home now. & I hope I won't fall sick again.

Not meant to own, maybe?

It's thursday midnight, friday early morning now.

Couldn't sleep these few nights, don't know why.

Again, just now, another attempt to find a song that I like so much.

For many years, never stopped thinking about it every now & then.

Hmm, a song that I don't know the song title & who the singers are.

It's hard to find, almost impossible. Don't even remember the year.

Don't know the country. Only remember how the chorus goes, how the MV is.

The setting, the dance. A few words of lyrics. It's a duo. A woman & a guy. That's all.

Never met a chance to hear it playing in any shops everytime I went out.

Hmm, maybe I'll never know what the song is. Not destined to own it.

Was thinking perhaps I won't appreciate when I finally have it.

Happened many times that I got the songs I've been looking.

Then, I'd listen to them for a few times everyday for let's say, 1 week.

Gone, won't be in my playlist for another 6 months.

Don't care. Just want to have it now.

But I'm not forcing like mad.

Understand that we will only value those things that we don't have.

Oh yea, forgot to announce! Hey *people*, I'm still alive~

Deadly Chain Letters

You know, life is really getting more and more pathetic.

Some people have to create some pointless chain mails to scare people, so that those terrified poor little souls will come bug me with them. Will never understand what fun they get out of this.

Gee~maybe one day, when they happen to read this post, I will figure out.

I just received an email from someone that I didn't have contact for a long time that I have even deleted her from my wlm, thinking that we won't talk anymore. I clean it up every now & then, to eliminate those I don't talk to anymore. Like to have clear cut. 

Should do it more often already, I think, & block those I delete at the same time. 

Well, I was surprised and hmm, grateful that she still remembers me.

The email's title is "11 year old pregnant girl".

& it was a chain letter which has nothing to do with any pregnant little girl.

Just got more annoyed for those miraculous coincidences happening around the world everyday, I received quite a few chain letters lately.

The content mentions, again, as usual, you will die or whatsoever if you don't send to others.

In this case, I have to send to 24 people or some faceless girl will come find me tonight & I shall die the moment I see her face. Because she's so powerful, (monotone) oh I'm so scared. Duh.

Gosh~should I feel lucky that my dear friend there picked me as one of those that she would send this delighting email, so that she could fill up the 24 names in her list of the people she doesn't care dying.

Ha~friends...define it. Well, be grateful, at least she would think of me at all. 

Should be lucky to be her best friend as she won't pick you to die. Even luckier to be MY friends or even people that are just in my contact list, because I will NEVER send out this nonsense chain letter, even if you are not close to me. Geez~I'm so annoyed!!!!

& enough already!!! With all those craps telling that I will not meet my true love and I will have bad luck for 3 months, 6 months, 2 days or 1 minute, 5 minutes, 10 seconds, yea, anything, whatever...if I don't send to certain amount of people, yada yada yada, because seriously? I don't care. Read my lips >>>> don't care.

Hey peeps, if I die tonight, that means I was wrong. Well, I won't regret though. So, you know which emails not to scroll down and read right? Good.

Protest Chain Letters Forever! They are for non believers!

2 lessons today, you figure out.

& really guys, don't laugh if by any chance, you are at my funeral anytime soon.

Those sinners, God will take care of you, don't you worry.

annoyed.annoyed.annoyed.annoyed.annoyed.annoyed.nice border.

Message to Daddy

Dear Daddy,

If it happens that you are free & stop by to check out my blog, please don't freak out when you see the posting time. They are default ones as I didn't set the time.

Your good daughter is very obedient, I won't sleep at 3.24 am...

& not an early bird that will wake up at 6 ++ morning too...

Haha~this way, can save your energy & time scolding me...

But I know you will still mention at least anyway...hehe~

^^

Week of silence

Here I am, after this sem had ended...

Awaiting for exam week to arrive...when study week is already torturing...

Every day, I shall count the sentences that come out from my mouth...

This is the 1st short sem...only 2 subs...

Well, I can only say, one is torturing in the 1st half sem, pleasure in the other half...

Another subject is the opposite...but I enjoyed myself...

Felt more contented...

Well, every semester, I learn & realise things, observing & analysing...

Some things, I just never learn...

Will keep falling & standing up & learning again & forgetting & falling again...there goes the circle...I just don't want to give up hope...but I think now I should...after so many times of trying, I truly agree that some things are not meant for me...

Study week has started...

Being in the room all day alone is not going to drive me crazy...just the fact that I'm not enjoying every moment of it is killing...

No presence of human besides myself...

Finding more meaningful stuffs to do besides studying...

Needless to say, that is already a must...

Going to adjust to LOVE time being alone...

I used to long for private time...

I can never understand human.

Latest Update

I shall come in a while & fill you up, my dear blog.
Now I'm just too busy.
Wait for me. Til we meet again.

All Time Favourite

还记得那一次你将你的手
小心的放进我的口袋
轻声的说不要颤抖
还记得那一次你擦干我的泪
还坚持将我低下的头
紧紧的贴进你的胸口
我有多久没感动过
若不是你那么强烈的保护我
若不是你的那一句 你有的不多
却愿意把最好的都留给我

你要我住进你心里的防空洞
不让无谓的思绪暗涌
再多分扰也都没有用
你决定了我所有的喜怒哀愁
你把我带到一个停泊的港口
让回忆可以避避风 仰望着夜空
听潮起潮落 为你我不再向往着漂流

还记得那一次你将你的手
小心的放进我的口袋
轻声的说不要颤抖
还记得那一次你擦干我的泪
还坚持将我低下的头
紧紧的贴进你的胸口
我有多久没感动过
若不是你那么强烈的保护我
若不是你的那一句 你有的不多
却愿意把最好的都留给我

你要我住进你心里的防空洞
不让无谓的思绪暗涌
再多分扰也都没有用
你决定了我所有的喜怒哀愁
你把我带到一个停泊的港口
让回忆可以避避风 仰望着夜空
听潮起潮落 为你我不再向往着漂流

Touching hearts...

This is one of my newspaper articles.

I was walking around in a store,

when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back..

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around.

She left quickly.The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked towards him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'

''I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy,but I didn't dare to ask God for too much.But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a whiterose.'''My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of whiteroses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest..

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever... The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

Changing Channel...

At this very moment, my eyes are covered with rage more than sleepiness..
Have you ever experienced that everytime when you are going to lie down your comfortable bed to sleep, the first thing that comes in you mind is, "This time, what time will I be woken up?" ?
It's a good thing you don't even need an alarm & you get to wake up early too! Nor Time or rainy days will change it! How amazing!
Sometimes I will wonder why I still treat people good when they are not to me...
Not to say that I'm very kind...so that means you know why when I'm being mean, bad, sarcastic, evil and all, because at that moment, I feel that it's not worth being kind...so the "me" now is after evilness manufacturing.
Well, I'm always struggling between good & evil...it's not an easy fight.
I'm also human...just because I'm not important to you, it doesn't mean you shouldn't bother about me..
You will even go help an old lady to pick her oranges on the street..it's very hard to understand human huh?
Then do I need to be old too?
I've been tolerating, this is what I get?
Well, I sure hope my dear friend, the Kung fu Panda lover has made up her mind to replace me..70% confirmed, she said..
So I can get out of here to somewhere where I can sleep at whatever time I want & wake up every morning naturally, & also get to have a good sleep when I'm sick, especially fever. & I can take every nap without worrying what time I'll be woken up.
Since when, sleeping is a torturing process?
Thanks to them, once again, it is proven that it's stupid to be kind.
It's either you be a person that is so kind that people won't want to harm you & always be so considerate to you.
Or you be a bad person that you will scold straight in the face when someone pisses you.

I used to be very grateful that I'm a light sleeper...the lightest one, I can say..
Used to think it's a blessing..
But not anymore...
Now I wish I can sleep like a pig, like my beloved friend, or a log, like my another friend..

My dad always says, I know humans, how they behave & how they react to certain situations, I'm also human.
So no expectations, no disappointment.
He is right. But it's not as easy as saying, of course.
Don't expect people to be good to you.
Don't expect that they will care for you.
Always keep in mind, you are most important of everything you have in your life.
So when you don't dare to do anything, scared you will offend people, keep in mind that if you don't do it, you will be the one who suffer...& if you don't care, who the hell will?

Too bad I have to watch little ninjai with a scene that the villain's eye was hurt & to stop the pain, he digged out his own eye & ate it with big laughs, to make me feel better.

Happy Tree Friends no longer works.

StoryTeller

They are not always a happy couple.
They have not been a happy couple lately either.
The girl is not happy but doesn't dare to tell.
The guy is troubled with his own stuffs, so he has no time to ask about the girl.
The girl is feeling pain everytime he says something hurting but the guy never realises the sorrow on her face because he's still too busy with his matters.
The guy is hot-tempered, especially when he's under stress.
The girl finally can't take it anymore & bursts out one day.

On the stairs outside the girl's apartment,
"What do you want now? Why are you showing attitude? Just tell me!"
"Are you jealous because I'm going out with my friends?"
"No, I'm not. Just want to be with you, that's why didn't want you to leave. I'm not stopping you from seeing your friends."
"Then?...why are you acting up now?"
"I just want to ask you something. If you don't have to come back earlier today to study for your quiz tomorrow, will you come back for me to give me my work I left in your car?"
"What?...I'm already here, right?"
"That is because you want to come back to study."
"I ask you, will you come back for me?"
"....yes."
"That's the problem. Because I think you won't."
"What's your problem now?...can you just tell me why you are angry?"
"I have not been happy lately. I feel that I'm not important in your life anymore. Everytime I think what we go through everyday, call me needy or what, but you don't show affection anymore."
"What's wrong with you?...I have no time to hear about whatever past now. I just want to know why you are showing attitude. Just tell me!"
"And why are you talking about all these?..is it my mistake that you are feeling like this?"
"Then why do you think I'm feeling like this?"
"Well, that's you problem!"
*sobbing* "My problem?...it's my problem?"
"Yea!!"
"Oh god, why are you crying?...this is just a small thing. Why do you have to cry?"
"Can you say something? You are wasting my time. Don't cry! If you don't want to say anything, I'm going to leave now."
"Why do you have to treat me like this?..you won't feel pain anymore seeing me crying. Instead of getting angry, why can't you cool down and think properly what's going on?"
"I'm very calm now. No need to cool down!"
"Are you going to say anything?...if you are not, I'm going to leave now! Wasting my time here!"
"GO! Since you are so fed up of me, feeling so fed up seeing me crying, I know what that means already. I don't want you to see me crying either! Just leave me alone & go, I want to be alone for myself. I want to cry, it's my problem. I've always been like this, I cry a lot, it's not that it's the first day you know me. If you can't stand me, I won't force you!"
"What do you want?...you want me to show pitiful face & come ask you if you are okay?"
"No need anymore...just leave!"
"Fine! If that is what you want!"
*walking down the stairs*
*sobbing sounds*
*looking back to see the girl crying like going to cry her heart out*
"walking back*
"sitting beside the girl*
After 10 minutes....
*sigh*
"Baby, I'm sorry. I know what I said just now. I'm sorry, I will change. I know, no matter how angry I am, I shouldn't say all those cruel words to hurt you like this. I promise I will change, I will control myself. We will work things out together ok?"
"Why didn't you tell me that you are not happy?..I'm sorry for not paying attention to you lately. I'm sorry that I said all those stuffs. I should know that when you are feeling scared at nights & you are asking for me, I should hug you & tell you not to be afraid & hug you tight till you feel safe & fall asleep calmly in my arms. But I'm so stupid that I asked you not to wake me up anymore & said that I can't do anything if you are scared too."
"I should have realised that you felt because after that, you didn't say a word anymore except telling me nevermind. It really takes me so long to realise that girls and guys think differently. I know you will have mood swing and will feel very sensitive and tend to think too much at times. When you are scared or not certain of the future, I just want you to know that I will always stay beside you. But can you be honest with me & tell me how you are thinking all the time?
"I will learn to know you more. I can see you are changing for me. I promised you to change but I realised I never tried as hard as you do because I can't control my anger."
"Please forgive me...please?"
"It's okay...I know it's hard for you to change too...I won't force you. I don't mind u being hot-tempered. I just can't take all the things you say when you are angry. You tend to say a lot of stuffs when you are angry and you told me you won't regret. I really hope you won't because everytime you do, we will have to go through the same thing again & again & I feel that it's endless."
"I'm starting to give up. I don't think I have the ability to change you. I always thought if you really love me a lot, you will think of me everytime you want to get angry & cool down. You know, everytime I get angry or what, I'll think, "what if I lose you?" Because I don't want, that's why I give in. The pain when I imagine you are gone or something bad happens to you, I feel very scared."
"I just thought that I'll be always the one who is always in your mind, not because you are always thinking how I can cheer you up. I want you to know why I behave certain ways. I want you to know that I won't cry for no reason, I must have been feeling sad or what for a period of time, if not, I won't cry like that. Just want you to know that I will show temper whenever I'm panic, but I never got out of control because I know it's wrong. Just want you to know that I will never say anything hurting even when I'm extremely angry because I know you will feel very hurt. Everytime if I want to hurt you, I will imagine you feeling even angrier or sad if I do so, I know I'll leave a scar in your heart, that's why I stop."
"I just hope you will do the same. Because you are the one that can hurt me badly except my family."

(Inside the girl's heart, she knows she'll either have to completely let go or stop holding too tight because she sees no bright light anymore. She doesn't know what to do as she can't let go. For her now, love is no longer sweet. Maybe never been sweet. She doesn't hope for him to change anymore, no matter how she wants him to look back at her when he's running way ahead her, she has a feeling that he won't anymore. She knows that there's no point deciding whose fault this is for what she's feeling right now, she knows she can't do anything to change the fact. She just feels very helpless, for she feels that she can't do anything to change anything already...she's just tired.)

Tears rolling down when she thinks about all these. High hopes she had to make things better.
"Baby, don't cry anymore please. I feel very bad already. We go eat something k."
"Okay."

(Again, she's lying to him that she's okay & pretends to be okay. She's been doing so lately. She realised that she's just a human after all, a weakling. She realised she'll only make things worse if she says anything again because he doesn't like to hear all these. She realised that all he wants is to stay out of all these love troubles. So she thinks, at least he's happy, I don't mind.)

So how is the story?
Surely it's kind of long. But I think it's just another ordinary love story.
Just feel like writing it...

Acoger

Just happened to see my friend opening her blogspot & since I'm a psycho who is fond of all those nice design & stuffs, so I decided to come blog.
It has been a while since I last blogged. Don't know what to write for my 1st entry...these few days, there have only been negative things happening around me...so....I shall start my new blog with misery & sorrow......