In Between X'mas & Thanksgiving

For me, the only ideal way of celebrating X'mas is in church with choir, dances, stage play, duet & last but not least, hymns singing. 

Without all these, X'mas just seems meaningless or dead to me. 

I know I'm uncompromising. I know this has got to change. 

I shall try to change my mindset if I wish to live happier. 

& I am quite bothered that Christmas has been commercialised.

I hate the concept that "Now everyone can celebrate Christmas!"

No offense but the real meaning of X'mas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus & to remember he had come to this world to die for us.

Sorry that I got a bit religious here, but if you don't believe this or you don't give a damn, why the hell are you eating turkey at home & wishing everyone Merry X'mas?

Then, all the terms like X'mas shopping & X'mas wacko sales come out. & you start planning & giving ideas about how you would spend the day or night or you just feel sad about yourself for being alone during X'mas. Or you prefer to wear your Santa cap & get hammered in some clubs & wake up in a total stranger's arms.

But then again, I have no choice but to accept that you have your own freedom & that you've abused the true meaning of X'mas.

Lastly, Merry Christmas! To everyone!

I'm back in my hometown, with the hope to celebrate X'mas but apparently I was late.

So, I don't want to talk about how I spent my Christmas.

Traditionally, my church will have a year end thanksgiving dinner.

I'm currently in between X'mas & Thanksgiving & there are a lot of stuffs going on.

Firstly, because my sister scored straight in PMR & we're having a BBQ party for her.

Now, Thanksgiving is 3 days ahead. & I haven't taken her out for a treat as I promised because she is always busy & not at home. Her schedule is always full but most of the time is spent doing boring teenage stuffs.

Well, at least that is what I think because I'm an adult & I totally understand now why the adults always think what I did was meaningless as so of what I think of my sister sometimes nowadays.

This is because even though she is always out, she actually spends her time in church.

& for me when I was a teenager, hmm I would rather not talk about it.

I feel like I have a lot of things I want to do with her but she seems not available always.

I'm kind of forlorn as I noticed everytime I come back, she is a different person. 

This time, I strongly feel that she's gone a lot rebellious which is not a good sign & I have the urge to yell at her more. 

I'm controlling myself as I'm afraid that it will push her away from me & she would start to hate me & she won't tell me her secrets anymore.

I'm very possessive & I wish my sister would stay the same all the time, being cute & cuddly & always pleasant. Which means she won't turn bad & do bad stuffs.

I love her a lot & I don't want her to make my parents angry.

Lastly, I just want to enjoy my holiday with family at home.

Until I come back for Chinese New Year which is 1 month after I've gone back to work.

Which is a short period. That I am happy of.


Oh yea, almost forgot to tell you guys, I watched Gulliver's Travel! It's so damn hilarious.
When Jack Black was taken to be a girl doll trapped in a big doll house with big pink ribbons on his head. That is my favourite part. Okay, enough of the spoilers.

Till then, good day.

My Soul To Take

Watched it with the boyfriend in Cineleisure today.
Thought of watching something violent, gory & disgusting.
Haven't been watching my favourite genre lately.
And then, it's a disappointment.
The killing scenes were super fast. They were rushing the story.
& it's totally pointless.
And after a few attempts of trying to scare me, he got bored & sleepy.
I got restless & bored too, yet hoping to see some classic slaughter scenes & so I stayed focused. It was wasting my effort.
Peeps, big advice, DON'T WATCH IT. It sucks.


Craving for the Almond Daim cake. Should have taken away some.
Any chocolate will do now but I ran out of them.
Why didn't I restock....


I love when Christmas is around the corner.
Bought a Christmas card for the family.
I know it's lame to say this but it really does feel like love is in the air.
Especially when Christmas songs are aired everywhere.
Everyone just seems so much happier.
Claro! It's Christmas!
Though I'm kind of sad because church's Christmas celebration is held 2 days earlier this year & I can't make it. It just doesn't feel right when it's not held on the exact day.
Well, no matter what, Christmas is still my favourite holiday. Not because of Santa & not because of the presents.


Don't watch MY SOUL TO TAKE, everyone. Don't!

Rapunzel

It has been a long time since they last produced a real fairy tale movie. Even the Princess & the Frog didn't do me any effects.
It doesn't take you to be a believer but you could at least use some romance in you.
The boyfriend, of course, is not interested. So, I didn't go with him.
As usual, my eyes were watery at the end of the movie. Was holding back because it would be embarrassing. Teehee~


The chameleon was super cute! I thought it would be a bad ending because he died. But then...okay, I won't be a spoiler for those who haven't watched it yet.
Goodness, I kept telling myself that it couldn't be because this is a fairy tale & this is a Disney production. How could they let the hero die?! And so I was wrong.


Love the orchestra, love the soundtracks, love the storyline, love the graphics, love the humour.


It is a fairy tale & how a fairy tale should be.
One of the movies I won't mind watching again, after so long.
Just a right movie at the right time.

Breakfast at McDonald's

My dad emailed me this long time ago. I've read it more than once.

This is my new habit. To share thought-provoking stories.

Anything to inspire your day & mine!

With Love, from me!

Breakfast at McDonald's - a nice forwarded mail.

 

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end!: I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.' The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

 

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them.

 

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm). Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.' I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.' We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

 

I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?' I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

 

A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime.

终极意义

哈哈，忽然间又想要打华文了。

差不多两个星期没更新。

Hmm， 最近一堆事接二连三的来。

也好，有好有坏，才会感受到存在的价值。

22 号失业，去了两个面试，录取了，8 号开工。

目前为止，还在满足中。

公司有喝不完的咖啡因，是多么畅快的一件事啊！

最开心的当然是朝九晚五，而且公司政治----无！

近来好像变了个人，竟然开始情绪化。

不是因为月事啦。所以今天就决定一个人出门去。

走出门口，又觉得一个人好像酸溜溜的。

翻查记忆通讯录，就拿起手机，拨了个轮给Jane。

临时约人，也不敢奢望人家有空档，但她好爽快地说可以咧。

就乘着凉风，等巴士去了。

最近老是在等巴士时，跟人聊起天。

碰到超多同乡的！

三天内，碰到4个伊班人。

他们好像统统都来了这里。

替他们开心的是，好像文明了很多哦。

一知道我是同乡，态度都不一样了。

昨天在巴士上让位给个老阿姨，她居然不领情，还不感恩呃！

整个路程，只看了我一眼，然后装没看见。

之后就别过脸，索性忽视我。

*伤*不是什么，我要求的回报只是一个微笑。

好像要你坐，很委屈酱。

说回今天，跟Jane碰面了，出发了。

吃了午饭，又花钱了...*痛*

可是花得值得。

这次的散心有疗效，心不沉了。

又跟久违的友人聚，有意义啦。

然后回家时还碰到木槌呃！

那把熟悉的声音叫着我的名，八婆！

见了你就发现原来很想你们呃！死党！

再加上今天上帝决定要给好天气，助长了雀喜的心情。

连蓝色星期一都不相信了！

你们说要尊重死者，我偏要讲。

部落格是我的，你可以不读。

相信大家都知道最近有个跟我同年的男子为情坠楼。

咳，坏榜样啊。

某个电台主持人说得对，你有勇气去寻死，为什么没有勇气去面对？

难道死真的比较容易吗？

天堂又少了个灵魂了。

你死之前有后悔吗？你证明了什么？

是无止境的爱吗？

人家一生就要抱着愧疚过日子了。

倒霉的话，就患上忧郁症或双重人格。

要不就永远走不出阴影认识别人。

这....是你要的结局吗？

万一她最终承受不了这个打击，和你一样做傻事， 那你是不是觉得如愿以偿？

隔了几天才有时间写完这篇东西。
看了他出殡的报道，果然不出所料，他被很多九十后的当成偶像了。
真可笑！自杀都可以成英雄！你死之前还这么冷静，还能玩倒数！
*拱手* 我服了！
像我们这些八十后的就批评他是无比愚蠢。
好了，助长歪风了，要万劫不复了。

*叹气* 我无言。
忠告：我不知道你们是不是和我意见相同，但是我肯定认为任何东西都来得比生命重要。
如果是情况危机而你捨身救人，上帝和我都赞同。
在普通情况下，若你不是宅心仁厚或救的人不是你的至亲至爱，人，照正常反应都会先自保。
殉情，就让它困在武侠和言情小说吧！
自杀，死不去，要坐牢，杀人是罪，杀自己也是罪，因为你也是人！真是气死我了！
自杀，死得去，在任何宗教角度来说，你，都是罪不可赦，到时真是海枯石烂，你都还在火中烧啊。
大家，寻找人生意义吧！深呼吸，望上天空，抿嘴笑一下，都是希望，好不好？！*翻白眼*
为自己而活，很难吗？！

看了这篇新闻，第一个反应：“咳，又多个人下地狱了。”

Growing Up Is ... Optional

Most probably most of you have read this before.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married and have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

"REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL."

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it,

"Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there ."

Taken from Email sent by Dad.

Shin! Want to share with you especially. Love.

初恋情人

真的很纳闷，都这么多年了，我还是放不下。
就因为你的不告而别，心里还是不甘心。。
很想知道到底发生了什么事。。
如果我当时成熟一点，没跟你提出分手。。
你或许也不会在复合后又丢下我吧。。
不过我也想过，依你的性格，你应该会把你的前途排首位。
还是是我让你改变了想法？

如果我们没分开过，也难保我们会长久。
因为都没长久过，谁知道我们合不合得来？
这么多年来，你有想起我吧？
我做了很多傻事，打过电话去你家，上网找你的资料。
得知了你人在那里，有次无意间看到你和朋友在Facebook的合照, 也找到你的部落格。
觉得我好变态，成了斯托克。
事情总是那么巧，可是巧的是我都只是听过你的消息，看过你的照片，但这几年来，没碰过你。
我也是前年年尾才知道的，有朋友住你对面，因为两家人很熟，我每年新年一定去她家，但我跟你却从来都没碰过面。
这就是没缘分吧. 记得吗？我们以前很常很巧地碰到对方，或同个时间拨电给对方。一拿起电话，怎么就听到你的声音？到最后都搞不清到底是谁先拨通给对方。

再也没试过跟一个人那么有缘了。也知道不会再有。
每次回去，都遐想会在哪里遇到你，咖啡店或商场。
家乡地方不大，要碰见很容易。
我知道你在国外，根本不能预计你几时回去。
是我妄想啦。
这次农历新年，又去友人家。
知道了你住对面，反而不想去了。
不过无可避免，还是去了。
也情不自禁地拼命朝你的家看，希望会碰到你。

我想我再也不会有年少时的那份勇气和冲动了。
曾经有过，但不持久。
想发个信息，连键都按不下去，更别说打出字来。
八年了，我还记得你的生日，你的病，你的车牌，你家电话号码，你的字迹，你的声音。
因为你，我一直还在相信巨蟹座的男人都是理想情人。
因为你，我还在相信一见钟情。

因为你以前崇拜S.H.E., 受你影响，也爱上了。
后来，都一直有听她们的歌。可是告诉自己，再也不是因为你喜欢，是因为我真的觉得她们的歌好听。

可是，每次听着热带雨林，心里还是很酸。那时刚认识你的时候，红嘛。。

而且收音机很常播。跟你分手时，都是听这专辑的几首歌哭的。
不过幸好，心痛的感觉随着成长，淡化了。

这几天下雨，忽然间很想听这首歌。可是又在外头，翻查手机，才发现没把这首歌放进去。
那时就发现，想你的心情又浮现了，而且这次，来势汹汹。
一直提醒自己，是徒然的。
当他告诉我想一起过完下半辈子，不知觉就想起你。
心痛狠狠地肆虐，感觉很强烈。好久都没这样了，然后就写了这篇东西。
我一直告诉自己，你再次出现的机率近乎零，所以都控制得很好，不去很想你。
我记得，我也逃避了很久，才敢再听这首歌。

不知道为什么，每过不久，我就会像现在这样，心里酸溜溜地在想你。。

不敢找回你的最大原因是很怕你想的跟我不同。。

可能你根本不想记得我，很怕你再说难听的话，很怕过了好久好久，你都不会回我。

说到底，就是怕受伤害。

总是觉得我们经历的，你不可能一点感觉都没有。

也许就是太至心至肺，所以需要的勇气更多。
我总是以为，少年时的爱情是最刻骨铭心的。

至少我的是，不过也只有你有本事让我无法忘记你。

听说你很后悔把我让给他。还多番写信给我，说你很心疼。

我当时很怨恨，所以都没回信。

可是你妹跑来找我，说你很痛苦。

我知道我自己也放不下你，就鼓起勇气写信给你。

可是你却说没这回事，还训了我一顿。

我就在想，你应该是因为当时我会考要到了，要我专心。

可是后来，我开始觉得我被你妹作弄，我知道她很讨厌我。

我高中会考完后，在超市看到你打工，我妈还去你柜台还钱。

当我们面对面时，我发现我还是忘不了你。

我很肯定你也是。
你回头望着我离去的眼神，我还没忘记。
因为那时，我也在不断地回头看你。
回家后，心没停止速跳过，根本控制不到自己的情绪，像疯了一样。

那天晚上根本睡不着。第二天打电话去你家，你弟说你出去了。

也不知道你手机号码。那次是我最后一次有不知名的冲动和勇气找你了。

听到他的死讯，你应该知道我很痛苦吧？

从来都没想过找回我吗？

还是觉得很愧疚，双手把我推给了别人，根本不敢找我？

你很自私，总是用你的一套想法，就认为是为我，为自己最好的。

就觉得反正痛苦是必然的，然后说服自己说“她会长大的。"。

一切都是过程， 是吧？

是我不明白，是你早熟咯？
不过，说真的，如果不是你，我也不会在爱情成长得那么快。
在不知道哭了多少个夜晚后，我终于累了，就说要忘记。
不知道祷告了多少次，求上帝带走我的喜怒哀乐，因为我明白不能只带走伤痛。
要不然，就不知道开心是什么滋味。可是当时的我情愿什么都不要。
所以很长一段时间，我的脸上都没有笑容。
因为当时我的世界，爱情大过天。
没告诉过任何人我总是板着脸的原因。
不过，到最后，到此时此刻，好像一切都是徒劳的。
因为这么多年后，想起你，心还是痛的。是很痛。
但是我没后悔过。
无论开心或伤痛，我都经历了最深刻的。
没有了这些记忆，我看事情，也不会透彻了。

每次想起你，我都问自己，几时要鼓起勇气找你？

是你懦弱，还是你根本已经将我抛诸脑后？

你知道吗，我还留着，也只留着你写的情信，你送的礼物。

多怨恨你都好，从来都不忍心把你给我的一切丢掉。

我试过一次，但不够五分钟，又从垃圾桶里捡起来。

从那之后，都没想过这么做了。

忽然间很想读你写的信，可是人不在家。

下次回去会把它们带出来的。

我好像很不对，有他了，还对你念念不忘。

我也懒得去衡量或评断这还是不是爱。

我知道很多人都会说不是。

因为初恋的遗憾，通街都是。

我也明白这个道理。

瞒着他我的感受，我也知道不对。说出来也于事无补啊。
因为你除了在我的记忆里，几乎都不存在。会很伤感情的。
我最后一次提起你是三年前的事了。
他说帮我找回你。从那之后，我再也不敢提起你了。

璐滢问过我，如果有一天，我们真的又遇见了，你说要跟我在一起，我会选谁？

老实说，我不知道。
因为除了你，再也没有人可以让我心跳加速而久久无法停止。
我很期待，但也很怕，再见到你的时候，这种感觉又出现。

我只想知道一件事，就是真相。

直接地说，你到底爱了我多久，你几时停止爱我的？

你说的到底哪句是真的？

我写好遗嘱了，希望我的葬礼，你会出席。

也留了一封信给你。是时候要重读，看有没有东西要修改。

时间一直走，可能我的想法也变了。

也不记得我写了什么。

只记得，写的时候，我尽量写我认为我不会改变的心里话。

不是因为我奢望什么，因为你是遗憾，你是心结，你是烙印。
每次回家都会想起你，然后梦到你。
每次都梦到你找回我，梦里的我眼里只有你。为了你，我不顾一切，你说要挽回，我想都没想就答应了。这两次回家都是一样的梦。情景不同，但结局一样。
我很清楚，除了你，再也不可能有人能让我这么不顾一切。

我不排除有一天我可能有过量的冲动和勇气找你。

不过，到目前为止，你是我唯一的遗憾。

S.H.E. 热带雨林

专辑：青春株式会社

曲:周杰伦  词:方文山  编曲:锺兴民

冷风过境回忆冻结成冰
我的付出全都要不到回音
悔恨就像是绵延不断的丘陵
痛苦全方位的降临
悲伤入侵誓言下落不明
我找不到那些爱过的曾经
你像在寂寞上空盘旋的秃鹰
将我想你啃食干净
月色摇晃树影
穿梭在热带雨林
你离去的原因
从来不说明
你的话像陷阱
我最后才清醒
幸福只是水中的倒影
月色摇晃树影
穿梭在热带雨林
悲伤的雨不停
全身血淋淋
那深陷在沼泽
我不堪的爱情
是我无能为力的伤心

.......................................................

这首歌，唱着谁都好，痛都很清晰。