In Between X'mas & Thanksgiving

For me, the only ideal way of celebrating X'mas is in church with choir, dances, stage play, duet & last but not least, hymns singing. 

Without all these, X'mas just seems meaningless or dead to me. 

I know I'm uncompromising. I know this has got to change. 

I shall try to change my mindset if I wish to live happier. 

& I am quite bothered that Christmas has been commercialised.

I hate the concept that "Now everyone can celebrate Christmas!"

No offense but the real meaning of X'mas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus & to remember he had come to this world to die for us.

Sorry that I got a bit religious here, but if you don't believe this or you don't give a damn, why the hell are you eating turkey at home & wishing everyone Merry X'mas?

Then, all the terms like X'mas shopping & X'mas wacko sales come out. & you start planning & giving ideas about how you would spend the day or night or you just feel sad about yourself for being alone during X'mas. Or you prefer to wear your Santa cap & get hammered in some clubs & wake up in a total stranger's arms.

But then again, I have no choice but to accept that you have your own freedom & that you've abused the true meaning of X'mas.

Lastly, Merry Christmas! To everyone!

I'm back in my hometown, with the hope to celebrate X'mas but apparently I was late.

So, I don't want to talk about how I spent my Christmas.

Traditionally, my church will have a year end thanksgiving dinner.

I'm currently in between X'mas & Thanksgiving & there are a lot of stuffs going on.

Firstly, because my sister scored straight in PMR & we're having a BBQ party for her.

Now, Thanksgiving is 3 days ahead. & I haven't taken her out for a treat as I promised because she is always busy & not at home. Her schedule is always full but most of the time is spent doing boring teenage stuffs.

Well, at least that is what I think because I'm an adult & I totally understand now why the adults always think what I did was meaningless as so of what I think of my sister sometimes nowadays.

This is because even though she is always out, she actually spends her time in church.

& for me when I was a teenager, hmm I would rather not talk about it.

I feel like I have a lot of things I want to do with her but she seems not available always.

I'm kind of forlorn as I noticed everytime I come back, she is a different person. 

This time, I strongly feel that she's gone a lot rebellious which is not a good sign & I have the urge to yell at her more. 

I'm controlling myself as I'm afraid that it will push her away from me & she would start to hate me & she won't tell me her secrets anymore.

I'm very possessive & I wish my sister would stay the same all the time, being cute & cuddly & always pleasant. Which means she won't turn bad & do bad stuffs.

I love her a lot & I don't want her to make my parents angry.

Lastly, I just want to enjoy my holiday with family at home.

Until I come back for Chinese New Year which is 1 month after I've gone back to work.

Which is a short period. That I am happy of.


Oh yea, almost forgot to tell you guys, I watched Gulliver's Travel! It's so damn hilarious.
When Jack Black was taken to be a girl doll trapped in a big doll house with big pink ribbons on his head. That is my favourite part. Okay, enough of the spoilers.

Till then, good day.

My Soul To Take

Watched it with the boyfriend in Cineleisure today.
Thought of watching something violent, gory & disgusting.
Haven't been watching my favourite genre lately.
And then, it's a disappointment.
The killing scenes were super fast. They were rushing the story.
& it's totally pointless.
And after a few attempts of trying to scare me, he got bored & sleepy.
I got restless & bored too, yet hoping to see some classic slaughter scenes & so I stayed focused. It was wasting my effort.
Peeps, big advice, DON'T WATCH IT. It sucks.


Craving for the Almond Daim cake. Should have taken away some.
Any chocolate will do now but I ran out of them.
Why didn't I restock....


I love when Christmas is around the corner.
Bought a Christmas card for the family.
I know it's lame to say this but it really does feel like love is in the air.
Especially when Christmas songs are aired everywhere.
Everyone just seems so much happier.
Claro! It's Christmas!
Though I'm kind of sad because church's Christmas celebration is held 2 days earlier this year & I can't make it. It just doesn't feel right when it's not held on the exact day.
Well, no matter what, Christmas is still my favourite holiday. Not because of Santa & not because of the presents.


Don't watch MY SOUL TO TAKE, everyone. Don't!

Rapunzel

It has been a long time since they last produced a real fairy tale movie. Even the Princess & the Frog didn't do me any effects.
It doesn't take you to be a believer but you could at least use some romance in you.
The boyfriend, of course, is not interested. So, I didn't go with him.
As usual, my eyes were watery at the end of the movie. Was holding back because it would be embarrassing. Teehee~


The chameleon was super cute! I thought it would be a bad ending because he died. But then...okay, I won't be a spoiler for those who haven't watched it yet.
Goodness, I kept telling myself that it couldn't be because this is a fairy tale & this is a Disney production. How could they let the hero die?! And so I was wrong.


Love the orchestra, love the soundtracks, love the storyline, love the graphics, love the humour.


It is a fairy tale & how a fairy tale should be.
One of the movies I won't mind watching again, after so long.
Just a right movie at the right time.

Breakfast at McDonald's

My dad emailed me this long time ago. I've read it more than once.

This is my new habit. To share thought-provoking stories.

Anything to inspire your day & mine!

With Love, from me!

Breakfast at McDonald's - a nice forwarded mail.

 

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end!: I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.' The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

 

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'. His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them.

 

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm). Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.' I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.' We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

 

I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?' I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

 

A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime.

终极意义

哈哈，忽然间又想要打华文了。

差不多两个星期没更新。

Hmm， 最近一堆事接二连三的来。

也好，有好有坏，才会感受到存在的价值。

22 号失业，去了两个面试，录取了，8 号开工。

目前为止，还在满足中。

公司有喝不完的咖啡因，是多么畅快的一件事啊！

最开心的当然是朝九晚五，而且公司政治----无！

近来好像变了个人，竟然开始情绪化。

不是因为月事啦。所以今天就决定一个人出门去。

走出门口，又觉得一个人好像酸溜溜的。

翻查记忆通讯录，就拿起手机，拨了个轮给Jane。

临时约人，也不敢奢望人家有空档，但她好爽快地说可以咧。

就乘着凉风，等巴士去了。

最近老是在等巴士时，跟人聊起天。

碰到超多同乡的！

三天内，碰到4个伊班人。

他们好像统统都来了这里。

替他们开心的是，好像文明了很多哦。

一知道我是同乡，态度都不一样了。

昨天在巴士上让位给个老阿姨，她居然不领情，还不感恩呃！

整个路程，只看了我一眼，然后装没看见。

之后就别过脸，索性忽视我。

*伤*不是什么，我要求的回报只是一个微笑。

好像要你坐，很委屈酱。

说回今天，跟Jane碰面了，出发了。

吃了午饭，又花钱了...*痛*

可是花得值得。

这次的散心有疗效，心不沉了。

又跟久违的友人聚，有意义啦。

然后回家时还碰到木槌呃！

那把熟悉的声音叫着我的名，八婆！

见了你就发现原来很想你们呃！死党！

再加上今天上帝决定要给好天气，助长了雀喜的心情。

连蓝色星期一都不相信了！

你们说要尊重死者，我偏要讲。

部落格是我的，你可以不读。

相信大家都知道最近有个跟我同年的男子为情坠楼。

咳，坏榜样啊。

某个电台主持人说得对，你有勇气去寻死，为什么没有勇气去面对？

难道死真的比较容易吗？

天堂又少了个灵魂了。

你死之前有后悔吗？你证明了什么？

是无止境的爱吗？

人家一生就要抱着愧疚过日子了。

倒霉的话，就患上忧郁症或双重人格。

要不就永远走不出阴影认识别人。

这....是你要的结局吗？

万一她最终承受不了这个打击，和你一样做傻事， 那你是不是觉得如愿以偿？

隔了几天才有时间写完这篇东西。
看了他出殡的报道，果然不出所料，他被很多九十后的当成偶像了。
真可笑！自杀都可以成英雄！你死之前还这么冷静，还能玩倒数！
*拱手* 我服了！
像我们这些八十后的就批评他是无比愚蠢。
好了，助长歪风了，要万劫不复了。

*叹气* 我无言。
忠告：我不知道你们是不是和我意见相同，但是我肯定认为任何东西都来得比生命重要。
如果是情况危机而你捨身救人，上帝和我都赞同。
在普通情况下，若你不是宅心仁厚或救的人不是你的至亲至爱，人，照正常反应都会先自保。
殉情，就让它困在武侠和言情小说吧！
自杀，死不去，要坐牢，杀人是罪，杀自己也是罪，因为你也是人！真是气死我了！
自杀，死得去，在任何宗教角度来说，你，都是罪不可赦，到时真是海枯石烂，你都还在火中烧啊。
大家，寻找人生意义吧！深呼吸，望上天空，抿嘴笑一下，都是希望，好不好？！*翻白眼*
为自己而活，很难吗？！

看了这篇新闻，第一个反应：“咳，又多个人下地狱了。”

Growing Up Is ... Optional

Most probably most of you have read this before.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married and have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

"REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL."

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it,

"Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there ."

Taken from Email sent by Dad.

Shin! Want to share with you especially. Love.

初恋情人

真的很纳闷，都这么多年了，我还是放不下。
就因为你的不告而别，心里还是不甘心。。
很想知道到底发生了什么事。。
如果我当时成熟一点，没跟你提出分手。。
你或许也不会在复合后又丢下我吧。。
不过我也想过，依你的性格，你应该会把你的前途排首位。
还是是我让你改变了想法？

如果我们没分开过，也难保我们会长久。
因为都没长久过，谁知道我们合不合得来？
这么多年来，你有想起我吧？
我做了很多傻事，打过电话去你家，上网找你的资料。
得知了你人在那里，有次无意间看到你和朋友在Facebook的合照, 也找到你的部落格。
觉得我好变态，成了斯托克。
事情总是那么巧，可是巧的是我都只是听过你的消息，看过你的照片，但这几年来，没碰过你。
我也是前年年尾才知道的，有朋友住你对面，因为两家人很熟，我每年新年一定去她家，但我跟你却从来都没碰过面。
这就是没缘分吧. 记得吗？我们以前很常很巧地碰到对方，或同个时间拨电给对方。一拿起电话，怎么就听到你的声音？到最后都搞不清到底是谁先拨通给对方。

再也没试过跟一个人那么有缘了。也知道不会再有。
每次回去，都遐想会在哪里遇到你，咖啡店或商场。
家乡地方不大，要碰见很容易。
我知道你在国外，根本不能预计你几时回去。
是我妄想啦。
这次农历新年，又去友人家。
知道了你住对面，反而不想去了。
不过无可避免，还是去了。
也情不自禁地拼命朝你的家看，希望会碰到你。

我想我再也不会有年少时的那份勇气和冲动了。
曾经有过，但不持久。
想发个信息，连键都按不下去，更别说打出字来。
八年了，我还记得你的生日，你的病，你的车牌，你家电话号码，你的字迹，你的声音。
因为你，我一直还在相信巨蟹座的男人都是理想情人。
因为你，我还在相信一见钟情。

因为你以前崇拜S.H.E., 受你影响，也爱上了。
后来，都一直有听她们的歌。可是告诉自己，再也不是因为你喜欢，是因为我真的觉得她们的歌好听。

可是，每次听着热带雨林，心里还是很酸。那时刚认识你的时候，红嘛。。

而且收音机很常播。跟你分手时，都是听这专辑的几首歌哭的。
不过幸好，心痛的感觉随着成长，淡化了。

这几天下雨，忽然间很想听这首歌。可是又在外头，翻查手机，才发现没把这首歌放进去。
那时就发现，想你的心情又浮现了，而且这次，来势汹汹。
一直提醒自己，是徒然的。
当他告诉我想一起过完下半辈子，不知觉就想起你。
心痛狠狠地肆虐，感觉很强烈。好久都没这样了，然后就写了这篇东西。
我一直告诉自己，你再次出现的机率近乎零，所以都控制得很好，不去很想你。
我记得，我也逃避了很久，才敢再听这首歌。

不知道为什么，每过不久，我就会像现在这样，心里酸溜溜地在想你。。

不敢找回你的最大原因是很怕你想的跟我不同。。

可能你根本不想记得我，很怕你再说难听的话，很怕过了好久好久，你都不会回我。

说到底，就是怕受伤害。

总是觉得我们经历的，你不可能一点感觉都没有。

也许就是太至心至肺，所以需要的勇气更多。
我总是以为，少年时的爱情是最刻骨铭心的。

至少我的是，不过也只有你有本事让我无法忘记你。

听说你很后悔把我让给他。还多番写信给我，说你很心疼。

我当时很怨恨，所以都没回信。

可是你妹跑来找我，说你很痛苦。

我知道我自己也放不下你，就鼓起勇气写信给你。

可是你却说没这回事，还训了我一顿。

我就在想，你应该是因为当时我会考要到了，要我专心。

可是后来，我开始觉得我被你妹作弄，我知道她很讨厌我。

我高中会考完后，在超市看到你打工，我妈还去你柜台还钱。

当我们面对面时，我发现我还是忘不了你。

我很肯定你也是。
你回头望着我离去的眼神，我还没忘记。
因为那时，我也在不断地回头看你。
回家后，心没停止速跳过，根本控制不到自己的情绪，像疯了一样。

那天晚上根本睡不着。第二天打电话去你家，你弟说你出去了。

也不知道你手机号码。那次是我最后一次有不知名的冲动和勇气找你了。

听到他的死讯，你应该知道我很痛苦吧？

从来都没想过找回我吗？

还是觉得很愧疚，双手把我推给了别人，根本不敢找我？

你很自私，总是用你的一套想法，就认为是为我，为自己最好的。

就觉得反正痛苦是必然的，然后说服自己说“她会长大的。"。

一切都是过程， 是吧？

是我不明白，是你早熟咯？
不过，说真的，如果不是你，我也不会在爱情成长得那么快。
在不知道哭了多少个夜晚后，我终于累了，就说要忘记。
不知道祷告了多少次，求上帝带走我的喜怒哀乐，因为我明白不能只带走伤痛。
要不然，就不知道开心是什么滋味。可是当时的我情愿什么都不要。
所以很长一段时间，我的脸上都没有笑容。
因为当时我的世界，爱情大过天。
没告诉过任何人我总是板着脸的原因。
不过，到最后，到此时此刻，好像一切都是徒劳的。
因为这么多年后，想起你，心还是痛的。是很痛。
但是我没后悔过。
无论开心或伤痛，我都经历了最深刻的。
没有了这些记忆，我看事情，也不会透彻了。

每次想起你，我都问自己，几时要鼓起勇气找你？

是你懦弱，还是你根本已经将我抛诸脑后？

你知道吗，我还留着，也只留着你写的情信，你送的礼物。

多怨恨你都好，从来都不忍心把你给我的一切丢掉。

我试过一次，但不够五分钟，又从垃圾桶里捡起来。

从那之后，都没想过这么做了。

忽然间很想读你写的信，可是人不在家。

下次回去会把它们带出来的。

我好像很不对，有他了，还对你念念不忘。

我也懒得去衡量或评断这还是不是爱。

我知道很多人都会说不是。

因为初恋的遗憾，通街都是。

我也明白这个道理。

瞒着他我的感受，我也知道不对。说出来也于事无补啊。
因为你除了在我的记忆里，几乎都不存在。会很伤感情的。
我最后一次提起你是三年前的事了。
他说帮我找回你。从那之后，我再也不敢提起你了。

璐滢问过我，如果有一天，我们真的又遇见了，你说要跟我在一起，我会选谁？

老实说，我不知道。
因为除了你，再也没有人可以让我心跳加速而久久无法停止。
我很期待，但也很怕，再见到你的时候，这种感觉又出现。

我只想知道一件事，就是真相。

直接地说，你到底爱了我多久，你几时停止爱我的？

你说的到底哪句是真的？

我写好遗嘱了，希望我的葬礼，你会出席。

也留了一封信给你。是时候要重读，看有没有东西要修改。

时间一直走，可能我的想法也变了。

也不记得我写了什么。

只记得，写的时候，我尽量写我认为我不会改变的心里话。

不是因为我奢望什么，因为你是遗憾，你是心结，你是烙印。
每次回家都会想起你，然后梦到你。
每次都梦到你找回我，梦里的我眼里只有你。为了你，我不顾一切，你说要挽回，我想都没想就答应了。这两次回家都是一样的梦。情景不同，但结局一样。
我很清楚，除了你，再也不可能有人能让我这么不顾一切。

我不排除有一天我可能有过量的冲动和勇气找你。

不过，到目前为止，你是我唯一的遗憾。

S.H.E. 热带雨林

专辑：青春株式会社

曲:周杰伦  词:方文山  编曲:锺兴民

冷风过境回忆冻结成冰
我的付出全都要不到回音
悔恨就像是绵延不断的丘陵
痛苦全方位的降临
悲伤入侵誓言下落不明
我找不到那些爱过的曾经
你像在寂寞上空盘旋的秃鹰
将我想你啃食干净
月色摇晃树影
穿梭在热带雨林
你离去的原因
从来不说明
你的话像陷阱
我最后才清醒
幸福只是水中的倒影
月色摇晃树影
穿梭在热带雨林
悲伤的雨不停
全身血淋淋
那深陷在沼泽
我不堪的爱情
是我无能为力的伤心

.......................................................

这首歌，唱着谁都好，痛都很清晰。

Bollocks

Realised my mind is getting lazy.

No time for inspiration. Just feeling so switched off.

Trying to come up with something nice to write about & type it in Chinese.

But only managed to squeeze out some statements. Scattered here & there.
No unity.

I am officially free. Free from work, I mean. Not single free.

Some good time off for myself. Get myself rearranged & neat up.

Settle some unfinished errands. Do what I've left undone for more than 2 years.

And do some New Year shopping. Hehe~

Went to KLCC with the boyfriend yesterday.

It's the first time we went on a date by public transport.

4 years & this is the first time. It felt nice.

It's always good to do something new, to experience more as a couple, no matter how tiny the event could be.

The fellow was leaning his head on my shoulder. Never thought he would do that.

Like a little boy, so cute & sweet. Don't scold me for typing it out here, please.

Shall read books more now, since I have the time of the world.

How weird that you can stay friends with people you've worked with for only 3 months.

But those college friends. Poof! Gone. No posts on FB, no catch up calls. I miss you guys, kay! Know you're busy & in different states.

Called Peha the other day. She's still rotting at home, being a babysitter & house-maker. 

I missed those days.

Miss going to karaoke with you guys, miss crapping & bitching with Corner Lot. Miss laughing our asses off all the time. Miss being the one cracking mean & hilarious jokes. Miss being called mean & evil. Miss being youthful.

I miss my kids. This sounds lame but you have to admire God's creation.

Everytime I looked at them, I just don't know how God can create such beautiful kids.

Such innocence, purity and naiveness.

They could make my heart melt. So therefore, I'm being called paedophile. :p

Every movement they make, every word they say. Seriously, I really don't know how to be strict with them. They're just kids. They don't know what they're doing.

Everytime I think that way, I can't get myself to be firm & say No.

I can chat away & be friends with them. I can never be their teacher.

I can share knowledge but I'll always be complacent.

Therefore, I became unsuitable.

Until some 4 year old has a crush on me & started drawing heart shape on a piece of paper for me. Lucas, I miss you!!!!

He's going to grow up handsome, alright. Someone, don't get jealous again when you see this.

The cousin x2 bought a sewing machine. A mini one.

I think it's temporary hobby, though she does like all those knitting, sewing stuffs.

Ha, but it looks fun. So, we discussed together what she could sew.

Coaster, bookmarks, tissue holder, bla bla bla.

Made me a tissue holder which I love so much.

It's double sided. 1 design on one side. So when you get bored of one, you can turn out the other side.

The pictures.

Going to sew a wooden button on the polka dot side.

Got really hooked with Meiji green tea ice-cream & carrot milk juice.

And American series, "Lie to Me". Fancy Tim Roth. He's perfect for this role because he's a Brit.

He gets into the character very well like he's a natural. Like he's really the one who discovered the theory. 

It's based on a real study by Dr Paul Ekman who had been studying on interpreting micro-expressions and body language through Facial Action Coding System which he developed.

Well, of course you won't become an expert of reading faces after watching this but you will get some grasps of the knowledge.

It's really fascinating how human beings express themselves and how you could see things coming if you are very good at reading muscle movements on one's face to identify types of emotions one is showing. This way, no one will be jailed or punished for something he has not done. Nor can one get away for a crime or mistake he has done.

& you can avoid a punch in your face.

& you can tell when someone is lying. I like this best.

Ekman concluded that a few human expressions are universal after he's done a cross-cultural research on Fore tribesman of Papua New Guinea. They were able to associate & identify some expressions to specific emotions. The basic emotions he recognised in 1972 are Fear, Anger, Disgust, Happiness, Sadness and Surprise. And in 1990s, Amusement, Contempt, Contentment, Embarrassment, Excitement, Guilt, Pride in Achievement, Relief, Satisfaction, Sensory pleasure and Shame.

Some expressions are similar, for example, Fear & Sadness. Human will show their true feelings in the first 3 seconds when some news are breaking. After that, it's all fake.

It's up to season 3 now.

I'm still addicted to Gossip Girl as well.

This post, again, as usual, took me more than 2 hours to finish.

Because I'm multitasking all the time. Understatement.

And I've sewn the button on.

Sigh, how will I ever get over it?

He thinks it's better that I never know. I'm pretty sure about it too.

But how to not bother?

Truth or happiness. Never both. - Cal Lightman

A Getaway

A late post.


Went to Cameron with the boyfriend & the family last week.
Spent one night chatting with his mother while he was sleeping beside.
And he heard some parts of our conversation while pretending to sleep.
Were actually talking about him.
Confronted me the next day & is still bothered by it.
Honey, don't feel shy. Get over it, kay? =p
Love the cold weather, love getting to relax.
Love waking up & getting to see him straight away.
Not sleeping beside me, of course.
He was in the other room with his brother.
Me with his sister.
Only hated when I had motion sickness.
My deepest gratitude for your thoughtfulness. *kiss*
Heartfelt when I saw you kept checking out how I was doing.


Hard to get along with the colleagues, but not trying hard.
Don't think it's really necessary, don't feel like wanting to please them on purpose too.
I won't buy you donuts or a Starbucks coffee, so that you will scream in joy & say "Awww, so sweet!!!" I'll be nice when I feel like, when I think you're worth it.


Sorry, peeps, have not been updating even though I promised so.
Hmm, so lazy to think about what to write.


Erm, just a shout out. I have to admit, sometimes I would do on purpose that I won't respond to those people, I think, who only come to me when they need my help.
When I'm so tired and so I won't have the mood, I seldom bother to reply. Either you ask me directly, "Hey, I need a favor from you. Can you......?" 
I would feel MUCH better that way, honestly. 
In other words, don't beat around the bush & try to start things off with so called courtesy & good manners or whatever. I don't buy that.
And secondly, I don't feel proud if you would choose to come to me when you need help. I feel proud when you would come chat with me just because you simply want to do so. That will make it more likely for me to help when you're asking for a favor.


Time for bed again.Till then.

Recalled Event

The boyfriend followed one news where someone found a big dead lizard in the infamous Gardenia bread. Well, regardless of the truthfulness of the news, after my small experiment around 3 years, I stopped my fondness towards Gardenia.
It was one fine day when I woke up to see the Gardenia bread loaf was still fresh almost a week after expiry date when it was supposed to go stale. And no, I didn't keep it in the fridge.


Felt like being poisoned, I decided to buy a loaf of bread from all bakeries that I have higher chances of consumption: High 5, Baker's Cottage, King's, Bread Story and La Boheme. The rest, to be continued lar.
So, of course the ones which go stale sooner are those which are more safe to consume.
Our winner is La Boheme, second taken by Baker's and King's, then Bread Story, followed by High 5 which is slightly better than Gardenia. And of course, those from supermarket are safer too. Like those coffee house white bread, homemade, charcoal bamboo bread, yada yada.


Then my colleague, Ki said her lecturer back in U.S. did experiment on McD burgers. Have been putting it on the shelf for years, and it just got plasticky & hard, like a burger toy which stinks. Yea, maybe most of you already know. Just wondered how she dealt with the cockroaches which would definitely have been attracted to show up on that shelf. I don't like McD anyways.


Oh yea, in case you didn't realise. I've decided to go public again.
Was thinking it's silly to go private because some no life people are too sick & pathetic to seek pleasure from monitoring one's blog & criticising on it.
Hmm, WAKE THE FUCK UP. When are you going to realise it's not worth it?
Okay, I stop here. You're only worth 5 sentences, including this one.


And I'm still having child fetish.
Yam swiss roll with pudding in a bakery near my work is nice.
And for me, cheese is substitute for meat when I can't get the latter.

Going Private

Hello, peeps. Have not been having much that I can write about lately.
So, maybe later ay?
Just to let you all know that I'm going private with my blog.
I suspect, with valid reason, that some no life bitch or asshole similar has been monitoring my blog. Of course, with no good intention.
However, no matter this person exists or not, I should go private.
Whatever. I feel like it. Doesn't mean I have anything to hide.
I just don't feel comfortable thinking someone out there keeps checking on my blog to laugh at or criticise about how I live my life.
Well, of course, I know, I shouldn't care. Because if I do, it means that person wins.
But it's okay. I just feel sorry for you. I think I'm the winner. As I'm happy with my life, with the loved ones.
At least I know what I want. & I won't waste my time stalking the blog of the person I hate.
Sometimes, people just won't realise they've done wrong.
Giving themselves excuses because they feel they're so lost & their lives are so pathetic.
& they think they don't know what it means to be alive besides feeling good about how educated they are & such good taste they have in music.
Not to mention if they even have a religion or not, morality is something essential in life too.
Maybe that person will find a way to hack into my account & post something nasty.
Just want to tell you, Let go & leave me alone.
You should know, there's nothing beneficial from this besides more angst & hatred.
Not me, but towards yourself in the end.
You know you're not getting anything out of this.
I myself don't do well in forgiving. & I believe in karma.
Self destruction is fun, but it's torturing how you spend your nights with screaming loneliness & quietness.


And one last thing. GROW THE FUCK UP.
Because I'm so bothered & I'm so scared.

New Obsessions

I was supposed to post something last week, & maybe also the week before.
But I always have this long, long complex thoughts.
If I write, it'll be endless. & those who visit my blog would be turned off.
My problem is I always like to squeeze everything together.
The whole idea.
But Elyse told me I have to update every week.
Ever since she told me that, I've been wanting to say something here.
But seriously. I remember nothing.
I have piled up a bunch of my newspaper articles which I haven't arranged yet.
I've been obsessed with books, bookmarks, membership cards & buttons lately.
And very addicted to cashew nuts.


Oh yea! Went to the crazy Raya Bazaar with Wan in TAR Road. That was freakingly long!
I'll never go there again, kay? Don't invite me next year!
Went to Coliseum Cafe. He saw it in Asian food Channel.
Gosh. Was looking all over for it with Google Map. An old colonial building it's in.
Established in 1921. The environment is great. It's really old. That's the attractive part.
The food is averagely good.
& goodness. Mineral water, coke & 100 plus are the same price.
RM4.30 before 15% tax. For 250 ml. Not bad huh?


Tomorrow is my last day with my first job!
I'm so thrilled. Those Australians. They are fucking racist & arrogant.
They want to change their flights but don't want to pay anything extra.
Don't you read? The T&C are there. Illiterates.
This is a budget airline. Hello? Fly with Air Asia then. See if they give you any refund at all!
I don't care if your BFF is a  local news editor of whatever major publication company.
I don't care if your skin is red. I don't care if your mother tongue is English!
I don't care if your eyebrows are golden! I don't care how VIP you are!
Don't ever travel to Malaysia, China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Japan or Korea!
We are all yellow. No brainers. Don't even put your stuffs to be manufactured there.
It's too much to say that I will never go to Australia.
But at least not for anytime soon! I hate your accent so much I want to bomb the whole country.
Next Monday, new job. I don't know what to expect.
I'm not thaaattt excited. Just so so.
Because I always have the impression that city kids are unbelievable. Unbelievably cocky & abusive.
I just hope people there are nice & they don't do office politics or whatever bullshit.
I will rip your heads off. Majority females. Gossip. Sigh.
Anyways, I'm going out in a while. I'm so darn sleepy now.
But that crazy guy wants to go for karaoke.
Jail out time for him!
Ooi Noo Yin & I have stood him up countless times.
Since it's my last day tomorrow, screw it.
Ha. But my eyes are weary.
Ta!


P.S.: Said I would catch up with my old hobby. Will add on some more elements later on.
        My dad got me addicted to True Blood & Supernatural. How odd.

Plus Aid

Phew! Has been a long time. I'm in a tremendously good mood tonight.
Discovered a nice place with Couz x2
Went to a place called Plus 8.

The food is not bad, very reasonable price & crazily relaxing environment.
The design is unique, just simple & sweet.
When you walk in there, there's an oriental style of air conditioned space for Chinese food.
The rest is open air. Walking down the stairs, there's a bar, & further in which is also the underneath of the band stage where professionals singing jazz, is an secluded place for those who just want to have a pleasurable time to drink with peeps.
It's pretty cosy there, we both didn't want to leave.
Decided we would definitely come here frequently. :p
Couz said she would bring her friends here for alcohol. Ha~
Yea, it's an ideal place too.
There were old peeps dancing jazz & chacha there. How adorable & lively of them.
The boss said there's a discount session every day including weekend, from 11am to 5 pm, 40% on everything. Food & drinks! That is a plus point, aite?
Just googled it up & found out they have a website!
Here: Plus 8 Cafe & Club


Okay now, to share some updates of my recent activities.
Still working for the airline outsource.
Supposedly the 1st was my last day.
But they asked me to stay for 2 more days.
& supposedly I would start working in my new place on the 5th.
But since they're closing for Hari Raya, I was asked to start serving there on 20th.
So, having nothing to do for 2 weeks, I extended my stay to the 14th or 15th, depending on my mood.
& I'm still amazed every single day by how idiotic these people could get.
Who should I blame it for??? For their stupidity?


Pax: As you could see here, my flight is 24th sep flying from Penang to S'pore & 28th coming back. Now, I want to change my outbound sector to 25th. Then, can I still come back on the 28th arrrr?
Me: Huh? What do you mean? You want to change your outbound flight date, right? So, you're changing it with us Jetstar or you're flying with another airline?
Pax: No, I'm flying with you guys.
Me: Errr, then why wouldn't you be able to come back on 28th?
Pax: Because I scared if I don't fly on the original date I booked, I can't come back on 28th.
Me: (sweat) Errrr, you already paid & booked the ticket. Why can't you come back on the date that you booked?
Pax: Oh, so, if I change my date also nevermind lar? I'll still be able to fly back on the date I booked lar?
Me: Yeeeaaaaaa.
Pax: Oh okay okay.
Me: (after hanging up) %$&#$%&%%&*!@$*#@^*$!!!!


Me: If you want to change your flight date to "this" "this" "this", this is the amount that you need to pay. 
Pax: Oh okay, so how do I pay it?
Me: You pay now, with me. Using your credit card, over the phone.
Pax: Huh? I can't go to the airport and pay ar?
Me: No, you have to confirm the payment in order to get the flight you want.
Pax's mother took over the phone: Cannot go to the airport and pay ar?
Me: Cannot, have to pay now.
Pax's mother: Cannot hold the ticket for me, then I go to airport to pay ar?
Me: Cannot. I can't do that.
Pax's mother: Oh, cannot lar?
Me: *fed up in silence*
Pax's mother: Huh? Hello?
Me: Yes?
Pax's mother: Cannot pay at airport lar?
Me: YES.
Pax took over the phone: But my grandfather died, that's why I needed to change the flight to a later date. I tried to fax in the death cert but couldn't get through your fax.
Me: I gave you the right number. Maybe the fax was just too busy. You try again later kay?
Pax: But my flight is tonight.
Me: I told your mother earlier when she called. We do not set time limit for compassionate policy. You can take your time to fax in, even after your flight has taken off.
Pax: So, you won't forfeit my flight lar?
Me: NO.
Pax: But I tried to fax in already.
Me: But I didn't receive.
Pax: But I really tried to fax in already.
Me: Yea, but we didn't receive arrr! Whether you tried or not doesn't make any difference.
Pax: So, I can't change my flight already & fly another date?
Me: No, it's too late. Your flight is tonight.
Pax: You can't change for me & I go pay at the airport?
Me: No, I've told your mum that already too!
Pax: Okay lar, then I'll try to fax in again.
Me: (after hanging up) #&$%^!*$*@$^@@!!$!!!#@#!#$$(%^(!!!


Pax: Hello, I want to know if my flight has been delayed.
Me: Okay.
Pax: *silence*
Me: (Oh, I get it. Another idiot who thinks I know who she is) WHICH FLIGHT? (You moron)
Pax: Penang to S'pore. *silence*
Me: (My goodness!!!) WHICH DATE?
Pax: Flight date ar??? You wait ar....erm..
       I don't know oh. Can you help me check ar?
Me: You don't even know what date you're flying, how am I supposed to check for you?!!!
Pax: Oh, like that cannot check lar?
Me: YEA.
Pax: Oh, then nevermind lar~


Pax: Hello, I want to book a flight from S'pore to Shantou. Find for me the cheapest one.
Me: Which date do you want to fly?
Pax: Anytime lar, as long as it's the cheapest.
Me: *looking at the calendar* If you don't tell me at least which month you want to fly, how am I supposed to check for you?
Pax: Erm, then October or November lor.
Me: *tell the price for the whole month*
Pax: Oh okay, the price for the 25th, how much again ar?
Me: *quote price*
Pax: Oh, okay okay.
After 15 minutes, call back.
Pax: Erm, just now you said the *date* *date* is how much again ar?
Me: *quote price* Why don't you just go check online? Everything is clearly stated there.
       Instead of me telling you here & you're not writing the prices down & you
       don't remember at all, wasting our time.
Pax: I don't know how to use PC. All my children are out for work.
Me: Then wait for your children to come back tonight lor.
Pax: Then it'll be too late already.
Me: *strangle myself*


This is how interesting my everyday life is.
They are the reminders that I would never ask stupid questions when I call up customer service & I would try my best to stay smart & clear cut.
Thank you, God for giving me an active brain.
Top scorers for killing my cells everyday:
Gold: S'poreans
Silver: M'sians
Bronze: China
Copper: Taiwanese


Singaporeans love to repeat every single sentence you say.
Whatever information you're providing, they'll repeat after you in the whole freaking conversation.
And of course, M'sians would ask all the amazing questions.
China people are those who can't spell & pronounce English alphabets.
Internation Agent Code doesn't work for them.
You think they'll understand F for Foxtrot?
Even F for Frog is not understandable.
Only F for Flower is comprehensible.
G & J are the same for them.


It's okay. I won't get to laugh at them after this.
So, chill.
Brother came last Friday for visit & holiday.
Broke I almost was! Because of you.
You owe me one.
Spent National Day working. That was depressing.
Heard some Chinese guys being beaten up by Malay teenagers on Merdeka eve for no reason. Yea, of course.


Nights. Helllooooo, Friday Night!